An open letter to my husband •

05 Monday Mar 2018

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Dear Husband —

I SEE you over there.

Waiting, watching, wondering, where your wife went.

For 2 years you’ve loved me as I slowly gave myself away day after day, hour after hour, second after second. You supported every decision I made as you watched and cheered me on, helping every SINGLE step of the way. You supported me unconditionally and I have often times let you down.

I promised myself that I would always put our relationship first. That our foundation would always be my first priority and that everything else would ALWAYS come second. I’ve lost myself in Motherhood and found myself and lost myself, over and over again. Sometimes in the same day, others in the same minute. I tell myself on the daily that I’m going to do more, give more be better and day after day I fail, but there you are, loving me anyways, always helping me find my way back to you.

You love me so hard and so fierce and so unconditionally. You remind me who I am, who I want to be, and who I am working so hard to become. You continue to love me without limits or judgment or condition. You allow me to give myself to our son day after day, night after night, hour after hour without hesitation without resistance, without blame.

So my husband, my one true love, thank you. Thank you for loving me, thank you for accepting me and sticking with me. Thank for making me feel beautiful and loved and limitless. Thank you for waiting for me. For believing in me and for loving me anyways.

I SEE you. I miss you. I can’t wait to get back to me and you. You are (still) my best friend. You are (still) the one I have the most fun with. You are (still) the ONE.

I SEE you. I see us. I see all of our dreams coming true. I see our life being built. I see our son living a bright and happy future because of who we are. I see YOU.

You are my past, my present and my future. There is no me without you. There is no us, no dreams, no tomorrow. YOU are it today, tomorrow, forever.

I don’t tell you enough but I hope you never forget how proud I am of you. How proud I am to be your wife. How proud I am that you are Cash’s daddy. How proud I am for the selfless, hard working, funny, light hearted man that you are and who you are continuously trying to become for you, for me, for our son.

I hope you know that I am more IN LOVE with you today than yesterday and I know tomorrow will be even more than today until forever!

The 9 things I’ve learned in 9 months as a new Mom

19 Monday Sep 2016

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1). People you thought would be there for you won’t be. 

This is sad. Especially in the beginning. You’ll go through the process, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. After all you did lose something, support you thought would be there and wasn’t. It’s hard but it gets better and you get better. You also realize that not everyone is meant to be apart of every season with you. We all have our own stuff and we all think our own stuff is priority. Forgive them, love them and thank them. They helped make you stronger and also opened up doors for new relationships to be born and some old relationships to take on a new form. You’ll realize that people you might not have expected to be there for you will be. You’ll also start to form a new support system. This will slowly create your village. Just remember you can’t force people to be in your child’s life and you shouldn’t have to. As your child grows they will know the people who have put in the effort to be apart of their lives. 

2) No matter how strong your marriage / relationship is it will change.

Sounds scary right? This isn’t a horrible thing but be prepared to miss your spouse fierce and on the daily. I fought this for awhile trying so hard to keep our old normal our new normal but let’s face it that’s just not “normal.” To be honest nothing is normal after having a kid. Your not normal, your spouse isn’t normal everything is different and not normal but acceptance and communication is key. Colt & I communicate daily about this. The pits, the peaks and all things in between. We set daily goals and help each other achieve them. We try to understand and appreciate the other persons role and responsibilities. We try (try being the key word) to support each other the best we know how in these new roles. We get frustrated and angry and sad but we love each other (hard) and we remind each other how much we are loved by the other person on the best of days but most importantly on the most challenging days. 

3) Postpartum and baby blues are very real and very scary.

Nope, nobody really talks about it. And because nobody really talks about it nobody really prepares you for it. Feeling like you just got hit by the emotional stick (ok bus) Feeling like you don’t know who you are or what you are doing? Not sure why you are crying but yup, your crying, ALOT. Feeling guilty for not being “happy” every second of every day. Feeling overwhelmed and needing help but then feeling like you might have an anxiety attack if anyone else is “helping” for too long with baby? 

Yes it’s real — all of it. Hormones are INSANE. And REAL. And make you feel CRAZY. It’s ok, it’s normal and the majority of moms go through it! Those first six weeks postpartum are tough. Let yourself go through the motions & emotions. Let go of the guilt and shame, you are human! You just gave birth to a human. That’s not an easy thing to wrap your head or life around. Be gentle, you will get there. Also don’t be scared to reach out for help if you don’t get there. It’s ok. You are not alone. This too shall pass. 

4) You will need a break from your child. 

Mom guilt is REAL. But take the break. You need it. They need. Your husband needs it. And you’ll be a better you because of it.

Working mom or stay at home mom we all hit our time limit at some point in the day. Mine happens to be at 8pm, I’m done sorry good night. Mom needs an hour and a break. A real one, one that includes not thinking, not nursing, not even moving some days. Zoning out to a mindless show, getting lost in a book, taking a long hot shower, trolling the internet, blogging, going for a run, eating ice cream anything that lets me be me for at least an hour. Mom is in time out, ready, set, bye. 

5) You will fail, but you will also succeed.

As a mom, as a wife, as a partner, as a friend, as a person. Sometimes all within the same day. Sometimes all within the same hour. Celebrate the wins. Learn from the mistakes. Don’t dwell on things for too long or beat yourself up over things you can’t change. You are learning. We are all learning. Nobody knows what’s “right” sometimes what’s right one day isn’t right the next. You’re a great person, you will figure it out. Give yourself some credit and remember not to take things or yourself too seriously. 

6) You may realize you don’t want more kids and that’s ok. 

“But don’t you think they NEED a sibling? Oh just wait, you’ll change your mind. You don’t want them to have only child syndrome. You can’t just have one baby….” 

Insert eye roll. 

Don’t let people make you feel bad because of the way they see things. Do they pay your bills? Will they be raising your kid(s)? Do they live in your marriage? Most likely the answer is no so again do what’s best for you and your family. Maybe that means having and spoiling the heck out of one baby. Maybe it means starting your own family circus. Whatever floats your boat, do that and do it good! 

7) Everything you thought you knew on how you would “parent” goes out the window. 

Human pacifier? Never! Co-sleeping? No way! Baby wearing? Only on the go, never at home. Welcome to new age parenthood where everyone suddenly cares SO much about where your child sleeps and how they are fed. 

Now insert baby in ergo, nursing for comfort and sleeping in our bed and on no schedule. Oopsy! But you know what? WHO CARES? I mean I know a million people think they do but really? Does it really matter what my baby does while at home with me? Does it really change your life? I mean I know YOU know what’s best for my baby but really are you losing sleep over it? I hope not because we are all sleeping good and through the night over here. All of us in one bed, even the dog. Did I mention that the dockatot is actually now on my best friend list? Like there’s Colt, Kristen, my sisters and the dockatot. It’s amazing so get yourself one. I mean I know baby will NEVER be in your bed BUT you can thank me later.

8) There is no such thing as the perfect scenario.

Schedules, non-schedules, working mom, stay at home mom, working dad, stay at home dad, 50/50, single moms, single dads, part-time parenting, daycare, nanny, family help, no family help, vaccinations, no vaccinations, breastfeeding, bottle feeding the list goes on and ON.

Every mom and family faces their own unique set of struggles. Nobodies struggle is easier or harder than your own, just different. We are all a hot mess, some of us just manage it better than others. Do what works for you and your family. That’s it. Easy peasy! 

9) It is all so absolutely ridiculously freaking worth it. 

All of it. Every minute. Every stage. It is all so beautiful and goes by too quick. So hold on tight and enjoy it because before we know it they will be off and we will be wanting nothing more than to hit rewind. Being a mom is my favorite. So excuse me, while I go snuggle the crap out of my newly 9 month old man baby who’s in my bed with my husband.

Until next time, do something that makes you HAPPY! 

xoxoxo 

We are a Family of 3 (plus Kailea) 

15 Wednesday Jun 2016

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…as I laid in a giant pineapple in the middle of the pool, at my favorite place on Maui I couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that I had an almost 6 month old sitting on my belly “splashing” away. I looked up and smiled at Colt, we had done it, we were parents, mom and dad respectably, going on 6 months and we were not only “surviving it” we were having the time of our lives. It was in that moment that I realized two things 1). We were a family and 2). How easy we had transitioned from us two (and Kailea) to us three (and Kailea) without even really trying. Life hadn’t stopped or even slowed down it just keep charging full speed ahead and here we were. 

It was a surreal and exciting moment a “heck yes” we are doing it moment. A moment that takes your breath away because you are so happy and so grateful that you almost have to pinch yourself to really believe it. These past 6 months with Cash have been some of the best days of our lives but I can confidently say that the last 72 hours spent this past weekend as a family of three was hands down the best time yet. 

Cash is at such a fun stage and we are eating up every moment of “firsts” with him! I wish I could just freeze time and keep hitting rewind to watch it all over and over again until my heart bursts because it can’t take anymore, but since I can’t I guess I’ll just jot it all down here to freeze the memories and come back anytime I feel nostalgic or need a minute of peace.

I never imagined this next chapter for us would be even better than our first but life has a funny way of surprising you and having a child brings a whole new world of magic to everyday things. Watching Cash experience new things for the first time is like being a kid all over again only this time you get to really remember it and do it your way. Parenting is a blast and we are so thankful for a happy, healthy, easy-going baby boy! 

Checking in to the Grand Wailea on a Friday was such a special treat, it meant we had a whole extra 24 hours of fun, sun and relaxation! 

This was Cash’s third trip to the Grand, (can you say spoiled) but what a difference 6 months makes! 

Here are some of our first photos at the Grand Wailea with Cash at 3 weeks old! 

And then photos from this past weekend at 5 months & 3 weeks old. 

It was a weekend of so many fun “firsts” including his first time loving the pools and going under water! 

His first underwater dunk came on Saturday June 11, 2016! He did so great and only cried for maybe 20 seconds when Colt came back up and then he went right back to splashing and playing like nothing had happened. He is proving to be such a water baby and we couldn’t be more happy! 

After some family play time on Saturday we were also lucky enough to get some adult time in while Aunty Anu hung out with Cash and Kai. It was really fun to have some grown up “us” time to act like big kids – LOL! 

That night we were also treated by my father in law to a nice dinner for my birthday. We went to Duo for some steaks and while we were dining we gave Cash his very first food experience — Molokai purple sweet potatoes! As you can see he loved them which made losing his virgin gut a little easier on me (wahhhhh) 

First food experience on Saturday June 11, 2016 at Four Seasons Duo restaurant. 5 months & 3 weeks old. It was certainly a day and night to remember!

We wrapped up the weekend with a lazy Sunday at the pool floating and sliding and napping in the shade. Papa even came out to play which made it extra special! 


Cash also got his hands on his second taste of Maui — earths candy! I’m pretty sure he’s going to be a food monster! 

As we left the Grand Wailea on Sunday evening I was overwhelmed with feelings of love, happiness and gratitude. To be able to raise our son on this beautiful island that we get to call home is almost to good to be true and we feel so very blessed. 

Until next time remember happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You have to fight for it, strive for it & insist upon it. You also must participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it’s all that matters…” 

xoxo

New Parenting 101 

05 Friday Feb 2016

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As I sit here staring at my beautiful son I am extremely aware of how quickly time passes. If I listen close enough I would swear that I could literally hear the seconds ticking away. As I listen, my skin covered in goose bumps I still can’t pull away from sitting and staring. It’s hard to believe 7 weeks ago I was preparing myself to meet him. So many thoughts and feelings and questions. What would he look like? How would he be? Would he be healthy? Would he know I was his mom? 

7 weeks later I’m finally ready to recap these early weeks as we transition into our roles as parents and ultimately into a family. 

[Side Note] I’m sure some of you are asking or wondering about Cash’s birth story and I do have it written but every time I go to hit publish I get too emotional. I guess I’m just not ready to go there yet or maybe I just want to hang on to it a little longer. Either way I know I will eventually get there, just not today. 

Bringing Cash home was one of the most terrifying and exciting days of my life. It was like jumping off a cliff only you didn’t know if you were going to land perfectly in the water or if you were going to loose your footing, slip off, hit your head on a rock and drown. But it was sink or swim and I was praying that the last 9 months of preparing would kick in at anytime. We were ready, we read the books, we watched the movies, we bought all the baby stuff so this was it ready or not it was go time. 

The car ride home started out pretty rough, he cried the whole way while I sat in the back in a panic. We knew his lungs worked and it was clear that heartbreak was going to be a new regular for me as I sat and watched helplessly as we made the 30 minute drive. By the time we pulled into our driveway I was sure that we had no fucking clue what we were doing or what we had got ourselves into. Everything seemed so easy just 40 minutes ago when we were still in the hospital. 

That first day home I cried. I was overwhelmed with feelings of the unknown. Feelings of over powering love and fear. Feelings so extreme I didn’t know how to process them. I was Cash’s mom. He. Needed. Me. 


What a trip. 



The first night was the hardest. Cash cried a lot. My milk wasn’t in and he wanted to nurse fierce. It was so frustrating to know all we could do was wait, let him nurse on the colostrum and comfort him in all the other ways that we knew how. At one point Colt & I were both in the nursery, it was 2 am and we just stood their staring  at each other silently, eyes wide while Cash screamed bloody murder. We just kept staring at each other until my eyes filled with tears. We got THAT baby. The one that is never going to stop crying. The one that people warn you about. This was it, this was our new reality…

Luckily we made it through that first night and every night since (and yes every day does get easier and easier (I promise) and NO we didn’t get that baby). 

 

Our first night home

  

 
It’s funny how many labels become prevalent in your life when you have a baby. All of the sudden your “that mom” or “those parents” or you have “that baby” and your not really sure how that happened. In my mind we are all just moms and parents with babies doing what works best for us.  

To be completely honest I didn’t realize there were labels for different kinds of parenting. I also had no idea that we would be practicing “attachment parenting” (coined by Dr. Sears) pretty much to a tee. Some of the main practices of this type of parenting are; immediate response to crying, breastfeeding on demand, skin to skin, baby-wearing and co-sleeping. Well damn, I guess we are “those parents” after all — let the judgement begin 😉

Since I am now “labeled” below is a list (in no particular order) of some of the things that I’ve experienced these past few weeks as a new mom. 

Breastfeeding

Yes it hurts (at first) but heck yes it’s worth every minute (for me anyways) 

  
While pregnant with Cash everyone gave me loads and loads of advice on a million things but breastfeeding was certainly one of the bigger topics of conversation, after all — breast is best — insert sarcasm. For me however I knew I wanted to breastfeed and I was prepared to do whatever it took to make that happen. As mentioned above it took a few days for my milk to come in but once it did we were off and running. Cash was a natural born latcher and a natural born sucker (yes I feel extremely blessed) and he wanted to eat around the clock which he did. 

I had decided well before he was here that we would be exclusively nursing on demand for the first 6 weeks (no pacifier, no pumping, no bottles). And believe me he was demanding. My nipples felt like burning lava and every latch was another explosion of fire running through my entire body. I remember sitting in my rocker those first two weeks waiting for Cash to latch repeating over and over in my head “go to your happy place, go to your happy place…” 

I also remember sitting in my rocker at a week and 6 days, tears rolling down my face as Cash latched and thinking that anyone that told me that at the two week mark breastfeeding would get easier was a really good liar! But like all things in life the two week mark hit and as if someone had suddenly turned off the lava flow it stopped hurting. It was literally over night, one day I was dying and the next it was as if my nipples had turned into fierce warriors who had defeated the lava monster. 

  

Until I got mastitis (a nasty and painful breast infection) at 5 weeks. Luckily I woke up feeling my worst the very same day as Cash’s one month check up so I was able to see his doctor and my doctor in one visit and I was back up and feeling normal within 24 hours. They gave me 10 days of breastfeeding friendly antibiotics and told me to continue to breastfeed through. 

Because Cash is such a rockstar nurser (he gained 4 pounds in 4 weeks) my supply came in fierce which then turned into over supply. I can pump over 6 ounces in under 5 minutes. My let down is so strong I have to be cautious it doesn’t choke Cash when he latches on. I guess it’s a “good” problem to have when you think of the alternative which is low or no supply. But oversupply comes with its own set of issues like green poop. Which leads me into my next topic. 

Poop 

Never ever in my life did I think that poop would be so important (or exciting & disappointing) to me. If you think I’m lying just have a baby and you will see. 
And for the record yes, that first pooh of meconium really is that nasty — don’t believe me? Colt’s face says it all! Lol! 

The only benefit of being stuck in bed after a c-section = no changing diapers

After you get through those first few diapers (coconut oil helps with the stickiness and mess) it’s pretty much a waiting game for your milk to come in and see the results. 

The “normal” poop of a breastfed baby is loose (soft to runny) and may be seedy or curdy. In the early days, your baby typically has one wet diaper for each day of life (1 on day one, 2 on day two…) but once your milk comes in, expect 5 to 6+ wet diapers every 24 hours.

Mustard, yellow, seedy poop is what everyone tells you to look for, if the poop looks like that and you feel like all you do is change diapers and nurse then you are probably nailing it.

Since Cash is such a fierce nurser it only makes sense that he is also a fierce pooper. And I mean grown man sounds come from this child’s bottom. He has had no issues filling his allotted amount of diapers per day plus some. If your like me and think your going to be really brand specific or use cloth diapers just wait (insert evil laughter) until your baby is here and is pooping every 30 seconds and then come talk to me. If you are one of the “strong” ones who sticks to your diapering plan I salute you because that’s pretty damn impressive! 

As for us, any diaper that fit in those first few weeks went. However, once things settled down we decided on the Honest brand and we are now in the bundling world and loving it! We love how easy it is and how cute, safe and earth friendly the diapers are. The company is also amazing when it comes to customer service. On our first bundle the size we ordered was too small and since we live in Hawaii of course we had to pay extra for shipping (even with paying extra for shipping the bundle is still cheaper then buying the same amount of wipes and diapers at the store) so I called and instead of hearing the normal runaround about shipping and being screwed because we live on an island they totally credited my account for the 6 bags of wrong size diapers and sent me out a new bundle. To say I was ecastic would be a total understatement and they totally won me over as a now loyal costumer. 

  
Another brand we used was seventh generation. We had great success with their diapers as well. No leaking or outbreaks. The only thing that did give him a bad rash was the seventh generation baby wipes so we switched back to honest and haven’t had any problems since! It’s all about trial and error! 

Lastly I don’t want to gross you out too much about poop but as a new mom with an oversupply of breastmilk I do want to mention how things can change. 

Our first few weeks Cash was on track with color and number of diapers per day but then around 3 weeks the color changed to bright green. As a new mom of course I panicked but after calling the doctor and doing some research I learned that in my case it was my oversupply that was turning his poops green. With an oversupply often times what happens is your baby gets too much of your foremilk and not enough of your hindmilk which causes an imbalance. It can also cause your baby to be more fussy and want to nurse more often because they aren’t getting full off the good stuff. If this happens to you one of the easier ways to fix it is by block feeding. Give it a few days and see. Also know that green poop isn’t necessarily not “normal” it’s just a variation of “normal” and most of the time it’s nothing to worry about. The warning colors in the world of poop are black (after the first few days), red and clay white. 

Happy pooping! 

  

Sleeping 

Never wake a sleeping baby (unless your breastfeeding then wake them every 2 hours), never sleep with your baby in your bed, co-sleeping is bad, co-sleeping is best, sleep when your baby sleeps, don’t let your baby sleep on his or her tummy, sleep training early is best, you will never sleep again, SIDS is freaking scary and the list goes on and on and on. 

Honestly sleep or lack there of was what scared me the most about having a baby. I love my sleep, Colt loves his sleep, together we are team sleep so to think of no sleep was pretty freaking scary and believe me everyone will scare the crap out of you about how exhausted you’ll be. And I guess for some (or most) this is the case but it is also important to know that this isn’t necessarily true for everyone or for all babies. 

I was a “babies sleep in bassinets” person during my pregnancy with Cash. I did ALL the research and for us it was what was best. To me it made the most sense. Co-sleeping was scary and crib sleeping was intense so bassinet sleeping was perfect — the best of both worlds. Or so I thought. But when you are in the hospital that first night and you are recovering from a c-section and you can’t get out of bed for that first 24 hours and your breastfeeding on demand, everything you thought about sleeping goes out the window. Or at least it did for us and hence came the birth of co-sleeping. 

I mean seriously did you really expect me to put my brand new baby in that plastic bin thing you all call a bed? For me that was one big hell no so in my arms he went and in my arms he stayed while in the hospital. I thought “when we get home he will go in his bassinet…”

Well we got home and in his bassinet he didn’t go. It just didn’t feel right or logical to put him in there while he was nursing so often and sleeping so good, I mean why change a good thing? So we didn’t and a co-sleeping family was born and for us it works! 

It also means that sleep deprivation isn’t a word that is used in our house (as of yet) and for that I am so very grateful! Cash started off sleeping 2-3 hour stretches but then quickly transitioned to 4-5 hours and is now at 6 hours pretty constantly. He also just started sleeping the first half of the night in his bassinet which is great and even though I miss him like crazy it also works. 

Sleep is important so my best advice is just do whatever works for you, be open minded and flexible because — haters going to hate, regardless! 

            

So that’s it right? That’s all newborn babies do is eat, sleep and poop? Oh and cry…! They also cry! Lucky for us Cash isn’t a huge cry baby. He cries when he needs something, he cries particularly loud and hard when he wants the boob, is over his car seat or when he’s about to rip a huge fart because he has gas (hahaha) but otherwise he’s really tolerant of us which leads me into our day to day life. 

All Over Maui 

Having Cash a week before Christmas was such a blessing for all of the obvious reasons but it was also a blessing because it meant we would have lots of family and friends around. It also meant that life didn’t stop or even slow down just because we had a baby. From that first week he was already on the go. It seemed a little crazy (ok a lot crazy) to have a newborn doing so much especially as a new mom but it also gave me so much more confidence and it got Cash use to people, places and all different kinds of things.

   
    
 
  
  

   
 
     

   

It has been a dream come true and so special to have so many of our loved ones meet him so soon. He has got so much love from all over the world and we couldn’t be more grateful for all of the help and support from all of you! Thank you to each of you who made the trip to physically come see him and to everyone else who has called, sent texts, face-timed, mailed us packages or dropped off meals! Each of you have made this time less stressful and so much more enjoyable! We are so so happy we have our “village”.

So overall I would say these first few weeks have been a whirlwind of imperfectly perfect magical moments. We’ve experienced so many firsts filled with so many different emotions. It’s indescribable how quickly your life and everything around you changes from that first moment you hold your first baby but at the end of the day my best advice would be to get out of your own head, trust that what you are doing is right for you, your baby and your family, be gentle with yourself, love your partner fierce, go with your gut and surrender to your process. 

There are no hard and fast rules to parenting all you can do is give it all that you got and keep reminding yourself that you are doing a great job! 

   

   
  
….Until next time give a new mom or dad a high five! 
xoxo  

  

December is Birth Month 

01 Tuesday Dec 2015

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Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable, mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength..”

  

It’s here I can’t believe it’s finally here! 

Birth Month. 

Our due date is officially upon us and it’s the month when we need to be ready for anything at any time. Entering my 36th week of pregnancy and being one week away from “full term” has brought on its own new world of feelings & emotions. 

November was by far the most intense month of pregnancy from weight gain, to hormone changes, to doctors appointments, to non-stop trips to the bathroom and restless nights of sleep. It was a month when you take a step back and really really realize how lucky you are to have the people you do in your life and you find yourself thanking god every day for the love and support.  

It’s also the month where we transitioned from our every four week doctors appointments, to every two weeks, to now every week. We also had our last 4D ultra sound with our specialist from Oahu on the 17th. Those appointments are the ones that always have us anxious & most excited as we learn the most about Cash’s size, growth, positioning & development. So far it’s been so easy and we always leave the appointments on cloud 9 since Cash has reached all of his milestone requirements effortlessly despite the doctors original concerns about my septic uterus. 

Going into this appointment however we were our usual excited selves but we were also a bit apprehensive as we knew 1). This was our last appointment with the specialist and 2). They wanted Cash to be in head down position since my septum would cause him to run out of room more quickly then other babies growing in a normal shaped uterus. 

I went in with a positive open mind but I also knew in my heart from his movements that he was still in a breech position (his head is right under my right rib which causes that area to feel bruised 24/7 and his feet are on my left side where I get all of my love kicks daily) I waited holding my breath as he lubed up my belly and asked what I thought. I told him I was hopeful he had flipped but we would see. As the screen pulled up and Cash made his 34th week debut I heard the dreaded words from our Doctor “baby’s position is…breech” 

FUCK. 

Not just regular breech but frank breech, he is sitting in a pike position with his feet in his mouth (I couldn’t help but smile and feel proud that he was flexible like his Ma but sweetheart this really really wasn’t the time for that) frank breech = worst case scenario this late in our pregnancy. He continued with the ultra sound and of course Cash was perfect weighing in at 5 pounds and 12 ounces and right on track with his December due date. He snapped some amazing pictures and told us that the likely hood of a c-section as they had originally thought was now greater. He said that anything was possible and to burn some Moxibustion and hope for the best. I mean he did say anything was possible. 

(Insert hope)

I left the doctors feeling frustrated but also overwhelmed by so much love, how could I possibly be upset when I had this perfect baby boy growing inside of me who looked exactly like his daddy. 

 

Cash Olden 34 weeks 4 days

  

After processing and then talking with my ob the next week it was clear that they were putting the c-section on the table. If he didn’t flip it would be scheduled at 39 weeks. We decided it was time to pull out all the stops. We talked with our doula who immediately connected us with an acupuncturist who was known for flipping babies. I made an appointment for the next day and started my affirmations. Clearly she could make our baby flip. 

Meeting with Dr. Ross was incredible. She was so confident and knowledgeable and comforting. She explained that we would do two days of Moxibustion burning and acupuncture and see how Cash responded and then go from there. I had Kris our doula in tote to help us feel his positioning  and heartbeat. After the first session and heartbeat reading it was clear on all levels that he had flipped! He was out of my ribs and I was feeling light as a feather. I came back the next day just to ensure positioning and all seemed right on track he had flipped but now came the hard part — keeping him flipped.

For the love of natural birth & baby

 
  

I had my regular doctors appointment the following Wednesday but by Tuesday I already knew he was back to breech (light feather feeling gone, bruised rib heavy feeling back on track) again I went in to my appointment hopeful but by this stage a Ma knows her baby. 

My doctor (as always was great) she told me that we would be doing my group B strep testing today and that she would be checking my cervix as well as checking on the baby’s position. I couldn’t wait to see what she said as she felt around. From the outside she agreed that she believed his head was still up top but when she went in to check my cervix (which was a fingernail dilated) she questioned it. She told me to get dressed and we would go take a look on the ultra sound because it felt hard down there. 

(Heart stopped (insert hope) 

As Cash came up on the screen I saw her face change “nope just a hard butt, baby was still breech.”

Fuck! 

Ok BUT we still have 3 weeks. 

I left again feeling frustrated but still hopeful. Cash knew what he was doing and we had time. I called Colt who reassured me that we would continue doing all that we could to flip him. We were a team and we would get through this. I knew he was right and headed home. 

When I got home as usual my bladder was about to explode so I rushed to the bathroom but after I wiped I saw it, bright red blood. 

Melt down city. 

I immediately called my doctors office who assured me that the blood was most likely just from my cervix being dilated that afternoon and to keep an eye on it and it would be fine. But it was too late — I was already gone. 

Every emotion flared up inside me like a rage of hormonal fury, I was going down. 

(insert the meltdown) 

I cried long and hard, I cried for my baby, for my perfect birth, for my fears, for the dreaded c-section, for the unknown, for the blood. I cried and cried until Colt got home and wrapped me up in his arms and let me cry some more. 

I wish I could say that was it, the melt down happened and now I’m good and right back on track and ready to do this no matter what but unfortunately that would be a lie. The truth is I keep breaking down and processing and breaking down and processing and getting strong and then getting weak. I get angry and then sad and then I feel guilty. I lean on Colt who wraps me up in his love and reminds me I am strong and that everything is going to be ok no matter what. I talk to Cash and remind him how proud I am of him for being so strong and how much I love him. I remind myself that I too will get there and soon he will be in our arms and all this will be behind us and that we will be a family. 

I remind myself to let go and trust the process even if it’s not the process that I know or understand or want. 

I remember to trust in my baby and my body’s ability to know what is right when the time comes and I pray that’s enough. 

So today I start the day, week and month with a happy heart and hopeful mind.

Happy birth month Cash Olden Stewart. You have already far exceeded so many of our expectations over these last 9 months. We love you so much baby boy and we trust in your ability to know what you need to do to come into this world happy, safe and healthy. We will do everything we can son to make this transition for you full of calming, loving and safe energy. 

We are ready, you are loved. 

  
In the meantime if you could please pray that he moves in the right direction and gets into head down birthing position naturally we would really appreciate it! 

Lastly we wanted to open up two fun opportunities to all of our family and friends who might want to take part: 

1). We had a time capsule at Cash’s baby shower and we asked everyone to write him a letter with words of advice for him to open on his 18th birthday. If you’d like to add a letter to the capsule please mail one to to us! (If you need our address please PM me). Please address the envelope to Cash Stewart c/o time capsule so we do not open it. We will be giving the letters to him on his 18th birthday. 

2). Want in on our official baby pool?!

If you’d like to guess Cash’s due date please send us your guesses with the following:

Due date 

Length 

Weight 

Please send your guess to us by the end of this week! 

Also to be fair if he doesn’t flip before December 17th my doctor will schedule a c-section on either the 18th or 21st but remember anything is possible before then!

 

A Month of Love & Thanks 

11 Wednesday Nov 2015

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October was hands down my favorite month so far of pregnancy! The whole month had us smothered in love and laughter and celebrations. Being able to share the first few weeks of our last trimester with family and friends truly meant the world to us. It also made us realize how truly blessed not only we are but how truly blessed Cash is [already].

October covered weeks 28 through 32 which means we are officially in the last trimester of our first pregnancy, how this is even possible — I have no idea! If my belly wasn’t so big I wouldn’t believe it BUT baby boy makes that kinda hard with his non-stop kicking and punching and moving and growing. It’s so fun to be able to feel him all the time now and to never have to worry if he’s doing ok in there. If I want to know all I have to do is place a hand on my tummy and within minutes he lets me know he’s doing just fine. The connection we continue to grow every day just takes my breath away. He already seems so strong and so resilient and I just can’t wait to hold him. Thinking about looking into his eyes for the very first time just puts me into an immediate tail spin of giggles and butterflies.

Ok enough of me swooning over Cash and back to swooning over October. I will also add that pregnancy has made me a total sap. I’ve never been one to get overly emotional about anything but lately forget about it, I will see a sad or heartwarming commercial on tv and I’m toast. So with that you can imagine how overwhelming it was to have a month completely surrounded by love and family.

We kicked off the month with Ashley and our friend Jaye flying in from California. October 10th was our set baby shower(s) and of course it wouldn’t have been complete without sister Stew in town to celebrate. They flew in a few days early which was great since I was on fall break so we had plenty of time to relax and play tourist before the festivities of the baby shower weekend began! They also got to come with me to my specialist appointment to see Cash which was so special for me since up until then only Colt and I had been able to experience that.

Ashley meeting the baby bump for the first time

Playing tourist all over the island


By Thursday baby shower mode was in full effect. Anu and Ashley were working hard on putting together an amazing morning brunch of just close girlfriends while my family was working hard on our co-ed Baby Stew Brew BaBy-Q. I knew my mom, dad, sister, Mike, Deni, Amelia and Meghan were all flying in from Oahu for the fun and festivities but what I didn’t realize was that my best friend Kristen was planning the biggest surprise ever and flying in from Florida to be here. I knew she had been helping out a ton with the shower but we had talked about her coming and we decided that it was too much for her to come twice and that I really just needed her to be here to meet Cash after he was born. We were both (or so I thought) really sad and jammed up about it but little did I know she had been plotting and planning on being here for months and I had NO clue.

Thursday night my parents flew in and the next morning the rest of my Oahu family. We were was so excited to have my parents, sister, Mike, Deni, Amelia and Meg all here for the shower. They all got straight to work on Friday with shopping and crafting and baking and cooking while Colt and I had to go to work. Clueless I went to my afternoon shift feeling eager and anxious to get off so I could get back home to enjoy my weekend with my family! Little did I know that as I ended my first class I would look up to find Colt watching me with a girl standing beside him. At first I couldn’t register that it was Kristen standing in Maui at my school but then my brain caught up to my eyes and I lost it!! It was her!! Kristen was here in Maui! I couldn’t believe it as I ran over to give her the biggest hug, it was honestly a dream come true to have her here.

Kristen loving the baby bump for the first time

…and the fun never stopped

    

The weekend kicked off and both showers were absolutely without a doubt perfection. The love, hard work, time and attention to detail that went into both of them was felt on every single level. We couldn’t have asked for a more magically perfect day for our baby boy. We were surrounded by so much love near and far and we are so thankful to each and every one of you for loving us and Cash so much.

   

These two, hostess with the mostest. You girls really out did yourselves.

  

We absolutely loved all the video messages sent from all of our family members and friends, it truly meant the world to us to see and hear your voices on such a special day



 
  
    
  
Brunch was amazing and having all of my favorite girls in one place to celebrate Cash was so surreal. Thank you Anu for opening up your home and turning it into a baby shower wonderland, I’m so grateful for all the time and love that was put in to every single detail to make it so very special!

After the morning brunch we transitioned right over into BaBy-Q mode and got ready for our co-ed shower. My dad and sister and mom had spent all day Friday cooking and setting up and baking to get ready for the day. The boys woke up early to go set up the tent and tables and hold the area. It couldn’t have been a more beautiful set up. Every detail was exactly Colt & I’s style and it was just so amazing to be surrounded by all of our closest family and friends.

My mom made a clothesline of handmade onesies as a decoration and they were so awesome! Anu’s brother in law let us use his heavy duty tent set up which was a lifesaver with the wind!
  

Deni made us this awesome and crafty diaper cake it was so perfect and so special

Kristen got these awesome koozies made for party favors they were a huge hit

The day was filled with great food, yummy drinks, baby blue desserts, fun games and lots of laughs.

One of the best parts of the day was when my Mom busted out these bean bag sperms that she made for cornhole! They were so awesome!

We are so grateful to my Mom and Sister for all their hard work and planning. Also to my Dad, Mike, Mark, Sam, Joe, Meg, Kristen & Deni for all your help with set up and break down. And of course to Amelia for being the easiest & happiest baby in the world!

As the day came to an end we were blessed with a perfectly magical Maui sunset! It was a great ending to a beautiful day!


We honestly can’t say “thank you” enough. With both showers along with all the presents we are receiving in the mail daily we are officially ready to start checking a lot of items off our list and we couldn’t be more excited or grateful! Next up operation nursery but not before a few days of some much needed rest!

Baby Stew Monthly Recap

02 Friday Oct 2015

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Month:

September 

Baby’s Size:

Weeks 24 – 27 

Eggplant, Cabbage, Squash, bunch of Bananas

I’m feeling:

Confident but apprehensive (I know two very conflicting words & emotions) try feeling them at the same time! And when I say apprehensive I don’t mean that I am fearful that something bad is going to happen, I’m more just anxious from time to time about all the unknown to come. I feel so confident in my pregnancy and my body’s ability to keep Cash safe it’s hard to think that he will be living on the “outside” in just 13 short weeks or so! 

Food I love:

Captain crunch was my all time favorite snack this month along with talenti Alphonso Mango and Roman Raspberry sorbetto and apples! 

Steak is also still high on the list along with salads and watermelon. 

Pros of September: 

  • We did our first healthy pregnancy class at the beginning of the month which was fun! It was based on the Bradley method of birthing which is a method we are both fond of. It was informative and was also a great opportunity to be around other couples on similar journeys! 
  • We spent Labor Day weekend in Oahu with my sister, Mike and my parents. It’s honestly so special and so important to us to be around family sharing all of these moments right now as much as we can. We also spent some time with Deni and Ameila which is always a huge highlight of my trip and this time even more so since Colt got to meet Amelia for the first time! It was so incredible to see him with her! We also went to Babies R Us which was a fun experience since we were able to use the gun to register for a bunch of stuff on our registry. My favorite part was watching how excited Colt was about everything! My sister (Tia) and Mom (MeMe) also got to feel Cash moving which was SO special since up until that point Colt & I were the only two who had felt him.  

Family beach days are my favorite

  

Just “normal” behavior from these two when they are together

  

Just stop it right now, my heart is offically mush

  

She is my favorite of all times ever, I’m so excited her and Cash will grow up together

  

Ok, now my heart is really offically mush

  

My Dad is going to be a Vavó

  

Watch out, we were dangerous with that gun, LOL

    

  • We had our first official meeting with Kris our Doula and we started working on my birth plan. It’s so great and comforting to have her walking us through each and every single aspect of labor, delivery and postpartum. I feel SO empowered and excited after our meetings with her and I am so happy we made the decision to have her with us on this journey.

My Birth Plan under Construction

  • I did my gestational diabetes test on Tuesday September 22nd I don’t know why but I was SO nervous about it. I had heard such horror stories about the drink being so bad and woman getting so sick afterwards so I am thankful that for me it wasn’t like that. I had the Orange flavor and it was cold. It tasted like Gatorade with extra sugar with a diet after taste and it didn’t make me sick. During the hour wait I called & talked to my grandmother and read my birthing books. Once the hour was up they called me back in to draw my blood and then told me to follow up with my doctor in a few days. By Monday I still hadn’t heard anything so I called my doctor and got the exciting news that I had passed and that my levels were great! I felt like I had won the pregnancy lottery — another test down! 

  

  • It’s seriously been like Christmas around here now that the baby shower invite(s) have gone out! We honestly come home every day to a package at the door! It’s so fun and so exciting and we feel so blessed to have so many amazing people in our lives that love and support us and that are making this time so so special for us! Cash is already the most spoiled and loved baby boy in the world! All of your thoughtfulness and kindness brings us so much happiness and joy. We will be sure to send lots of pictures after the shower(s) next weekend, however I did want to let you all know that the gifts are arriving (daily) and we are so appreciative. 
  • Our friends Leslie and Brian from Washington (who we met several years ago while they were on vacation here and just kept in touch) got married and had their wedding here in Maui! It was honestly such a blast and such a beautiful wedding for such a great couple! We danced our butts (and bump) off all night long! It was so fun to get out and get all dressed up and just spend time laughing with some great people! It’s these date nights that make me realize how much is about to really change once Cash is actually here and it makes me appreciate the one on one time with Colt that much more! 

 

The beautiful couple, just Maui’d

  
  

The stunning bride and her Dad

 

Say hello to my little friend, gecko on the bottle neck 😉

  

26 weeks

 

Dance Fever

     

 
   

  • We got to enjoy a magical dinner under the stars and moonlight at a private birthday celebration for our friend Charlie at the Four Seasons. It was truly one of the most surreal experiences we’ve ever had and we feel so lucky to have been apart of it! 

 

Happy Birthday Charlie!!!

  
 


Cons of September:

  • My only real complaint with my pregnancy so far is the constant pelvic pressure which over the last two weeks has got much more noticeable and bothersome. The pressure is predominantly on my right side and most noticeable after a long day of work. 
  • My only other complaint constipation — self explanatory, yuck! 
  • Oh and calf / leg cramps! Talk about a 2 a.m. rude awakening!  Ouchy! 

Currently living in: 

All different style dresses, I’ve officially outgrown my “normal” clothes, welp! 

Looking forward to: 

Spending time celebrating & sharing my pregnancy with our family & friends at Cash’s baby shower(s)! 

Dreaming about: 

Being a Mom…lately I stop and wonder who SHE is. I look at her, deep into her anxiously excited but often exhausted eyes and although she looks so familiar I whisper, who are you? She smiles, this half a smile, symbolically acknowledging who she was and who she is now. She’s raw, exhausted, exposed, sometimes overwhelmed but mostly happy. So freaking happy. She knows that even on the hardest of days her new self, this new body is creating a perfect life within her. A life in which she will give her whole life for. Her body, her mind, her soul, her heart, her self. Shy but confident I look at her one last time and without a doubt of hesitation I acknowledge my new reality…I am his mother. His mother I am. 

  

Milestone: 

I leaked colostrum from my right nipple at 24 weeks 6 days. It kind of freaked me out but also kind of made me feel like a bad ass [soon to be breastfeeding mama!]

Baby Stew Monthly Recap

12 Saturday Sep 2015

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Month:

August 


Baby’s Size:

Weeks 20 – 23 

Banana, carrot, spaghetti squash, bunch of grapes 


I’m feeling:

Really pregnant! Weeks 20 through 23 have certainly been a transition. I can feel the shift in my body weight and balance and I’m having to be much more self aware and mindful of the things I do and how I move my body (bending over, lifting etc.,) 

Food I love:

My appetite has officially come full circle and I feel like most of my cravings have subsided. I’m also noticing that I tend to snack more now and eat smaller meals / portions. 

Food I hate:

Still never had any aversions regarding food. 


Pros of August: 

  • We hired a Doula and I am seriously so so so excited & ecstatic about her! Her name is Kris and she is just what I was looking for! She has 19 years of experience on Maui with both at home and hospital births. She is humble in her experience but very much knows her stuff. She is way more affordable then what I was thinking which was a huge factor since insurance does not cover the cost! We also just felt a really good connection with her which of course was most important. The other thing that I really loved about her was that she was all about Colt coaching me through the birth and her coaching Colt (which I absolutely love and I was so happy about because I wasn’t sure I would be able to sell Colt on the idea of hiring someone) She’s also 100% on board with what I want with my natural birth plan but she is also open minded if I do decide I want pain management. She is also willing to have unlimited meetings with us over these next 4 months to prepare us for labor and delivery as well as unlimited postpartum visits after the baby is here to ensure we are all transitioning into our new roles which is great because a lot of other doulas have a set number of visits!  I’m seriously so obsessed and I just really, really love the idea of her being on our team. We are so blessed! 
  • All of my tests came back normal for risks of abnormalities or defects. Thank you Jesus. 
  • Both of my cervix length tests were normal which means my body is doing exactly what it needs to do to make room for him to grow. 
  • Our appointment with our specialist was great and everything still looks normal and his growth is 100% on track. 
  • We started the nursery! Colt is seriously a Mr. Etsy / Pinterest next level dream boat. He is so creative and can turn any idea into a reality. He built this amazing bookshelf and redesigned the whole closet space. We also ordered two dressers and put those together! It’s coming along so nice and now that we have our vision we can’t wait for after our baby shower to finish it all up. 

   
    
    
   

  • I found out that the breast pump that I really wanted is 100% covered by my insurance and that all my doctor has to do is call it in so I can pick it up — stoked! 
  • We celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary at the Grand Wailea and I got my second prenatal massage while Colt got a deep tissue which was heavenly!!

   
    
    
    
    
    
 

Cons of August:

  • I pulled a muscle in my upper back / shoulder. It had me in so much pain for nearly a week. The day that it happened I honestly thought I was dying. I’ve never felt so much pain in one isolated area from a pull or strain. Of course there wasn’t anything I could do for it but rest (which hurt even more because laying down escalated the pain). Luckily (for me, not for her) my cousin Chrissie had a similar experience with pulling a muscle in her lower back during her second pregnancy and I remember her telling me about it. Knowing she had a similar experience really helped get me through the pain when all I could think about was how the pain was never going to stop, of course it eventually did. 
  • Because of my pulled muscle I really wasn’t able to work out as much as I have been which sucked. I had to take almost 2 weeks off from the gym to heal and rest which was hard for me because I’m really trying to stay as active and as healthy as possible. 
  • Even with 2 ultrasounds we were never able to get a really clear look or picture of baby boy. The first ultra sound the quality was just low and the second one with our specialist he was breech (whelp) and pushed up against my placenta so we only got a peak of the side of his face, which was still adorable of course! I’m really, really hoping that our next appointment in October will be better (especially since our sister Ashley will be here for it, ekkkkkk!!)

  

Currently living in: 

My Birthday suit this heat has just been too much so if I’m at home you guessed it I’m naked and tummy butter is the only thing you’ll see on me. 

Looking forward to: 

Finishing the nursery 

Dreaming about:

Having most of our family here for our baby shower in October! 

Milestone: 

We officially announced Baby Stews name (drumroll)….

Cash Olden Stewart 

We are so in love and we couldn’t have thought of a better way to have announced the news then while celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary (6 years together) at the Grand Wailea — our most favorite place on earth!! 

 

The Halfway Point 

15 Saturday Aug 2015

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I can’t believe we are officially at the halfway point (20 weeks) into my pregnancy. Most days it literally still feels like I just got the news and I’m standing there in a haze of disbelief staring at those two pink lines, but then I look down at my belly and remember those days are long gone. 

  
The last 3 weeks have been pretty mellow in regards to pregnancy symptoms and changes. This second trimester has truly been a God-send and I still feel really really good most days. School has officially begun again here on Maui so my coaching schedule is getting busier and busier by the week. I am really excited to start my third year of coaching since I absolutely love my job but I also know how quickly the time is going to go now, game over!  

This past week has been a little tougher on me as I did catch a little something and I’m still not sure if it was bad allergies, a summer cold, the flu or just the stress of my schedule picking up but it had me down for the count. It’s honestly the worst that I’ve felt so far through this pregnancy process (which I know is a blessing in itself) but I’m also so glad that I’m back on the up and up and feeling better, thank goodness! 

August so far has been fun because we hit the jack pot of ultrasound appointments. We will have 4 by the time the month is over which means so many Baby Stew viewings! We had our “gender” ultra sound on August 4th which revealed that baby Stew is indeed a BOY! Haha, we got lucky that we got to find out earlier with the specialist but it was also such a nice relief to hear yet again that he is indeed a boy, happy danceeeeee! 

  

  
The following day August 5th I had my 19 week check up with my doctor. She confirmed (again) that baby was a boy and that all of our tests for abnormalities, down syndrome etc, had come back normal thank you Jesus! I also had a cervix test to measure the length of my cervix to septum and it was normal length which means my cervix is stretching with baby and making room for him to grow, which is the best case scenario. I have another cervix length test scheduled for next week and then I see my specialist again on the 25th to check that growth is still on track! So far all is checking out, and my pregnancy is still considered “normal” which we are feeling very blessed about. 

As the days continue to go by I’m feeling more and more connected to the process and I’m loving it more and more. I can feel baby boy moving pretty consistently now and it’s the most amazing and reassuring feeling in the world. The movements are still pretty light but Colt was able to feel his first official movement the other night before bed which was amazing. It was so awesome to see his face light up as he said “Jenn I swear I just felt it, was that it..” — indeed it was (happy heart) 

With the halfway point here and gone and the clock officially ticking we both have ourselves pretty emerged in the world of baby, parenting and birthing books. I love that we are slowly growing into “informed baby people” together one chapter, opinion and conversation at a time. I just know we are going to make a great team at this labor, birth and parenting thing!  

 

This week we have also officially launched the start to our baby registry which has been equally as fun as it has been overwhelming! I have also started my research on doulas! We are hoping we can start interviewing with a few soon so I can get my birth plan working. With that being said if anyone has any great advice or insight on doulas here on Maui please pass it along my way. 

With summer coming to an end (theoretically) the countdown is officially on and I can feel the list of “to do’s” piling up as I type. So much to do, so little time yet my main goal is to relax and enjoy the ride so with that I am off to yoga! 

Until next time…

Baby Stew Monthly Recap 

07 Friday Aug 2015

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Baby Stew Monthly Recap

Month:

July 


Baby’s Size:

Weeks 15 – 18 
Avocado, pickle, pomegranate, sweet potato 

I’m feeling:

Really healthy! I’m so grateful that I truly get to enjoy being pregnant. 

Food I love:

Cheeseburgers  

Food I hate:

No food aversions but I haven’t been into anything sweet 

Pros of July: 

  • Finding out we are having a baby BOY
  • My mother in law Kellie, her husband Steve, Trisytn and Austin booked their tickets to come see us in Maui for Christmas
  • Got to do three awesome photo shoot’s with Anu 
  • Got to spend time with my sister for the first time since finding out we were pregnant 
  • Colt surprised me with my first prenatal massage and it was out of this world amazing 
  • Got to have one on one family time in Oahu 
  • Got to meet Amelia for the first time and be apart of her first lunch outing, we of course went to Chilis! 

Cons of July:

  • First real scare and hospital visit 
  • The heat in Maui has been unbearable which has been giving me heat headaches 
  • Colt was gone for 11 days in Tennessee for his best friends 30th birthday and I missed him like crazy 
  • Got sized for new bras and I am now a 34 double D and still growing, ouch.
  • The shocking reality that I can no longer see my vagina in the shower, double ouch!  

Currently living in: 

Off the shoulder tank dresses 

Double D bras

Runner shorts and sports bras 

Looking forward to: 

Getting to have two ultra sounds in August 

Dreaming about: 

My Baby shower

Baby Shopping  

Another prenatal massage 

Milestone: 

Felt my first baby movements which they call “quickening” at 18 weeks and 4 days. At first it felt like gas but then nothing happened. I later felt it again as I was laying down reading in bed. Right now it just feels like a very light tapping and is so unbelievably amazing. Since it happened I can feel it pretty regularly when I’m laying down and paying attention! 

   Reading to baby boy before bed 

Some teachers and parents have finally started “wondering” and asking if I was expecting. Coach Jenn’s bump is out and about! 
  

…until next time